How to Use Your Isolation to Benefit You and Yours

How to Use Your Isolation to Benefit You and Yours

As I sit at my computer on a beautiful Sunday morning in Golden, CO, I observe in me a question: “How am I making the most of my time in isolation?” For one small moment here on planet Earth, the entire world is being asked to stop, take stock, and listen to what is emerging in each of us. What is asking for your attention inside of you? I know this pause will change each of us in its own way. For me there feels like a deepening that is happening. I am looking at my life in a deeper way, and examining how I contribute to the welfare of my community, myself, my family and work. Where do I hold blind spots or feel lazy about committing to something better?

As I think about where I am in my work, I look at developing deeper coaching skills to sit for my MCC certification. It is the highest level of certification in coaching, and the skills required to pass the certification have to do with a deeper way of being. They are about being fully present all the time, allowing my intuition to speak through me to my clients, fully allowing me to be the vehicle for what is to occur between client and self. And with that comes the realization of not buying into the talk inside my head of what I think the client needs. The truth is the client knows what he/she needs, and my job is to create the space for them to tap into their own inner knowing and trust it. This is what is so magical about coaching; it is training me to listen to myself and the client deeply and learn how to be fully present with both myself and the client. I think this is what this time of isolation is asking of each of us: how to be fully present with ourselves and those we are with; how to move out of a head mentality of needing to do into a heart mentality of learning to just be in the moment, which may mean doing nothing but being fully present with myself.

I continue to take stock of how I am living my life and how I can bring more heart into it – more love, kindness and acknowledgement for where I am right now, no more striving for what is outside of me, but listening to what inside of me wants to be expressed. Even if I feel complacent or lazy about that direction.

I know too with this comes lots of grief over how we have been spending our life, for those we are losing, and for the loss of control we actually have. We are being asked to fully surrender to something bigger, and that something bigger lives inside each one of us. For some of us, we may have pushed it down and just kept forging forward based on what external messages have told us; for others, it has been nagging at us for a while, and for some we are following that path of heart and being asked how to deepen it in our life, create an even stronger connection to a path of heart.

That doesn’t mean we don’t need our head; it just means we are letting our hearts lead our head. In order to do this, we have to stop and listen to what is being asked of our hearts in order for the head to know which direction to take next with our lives. This may require darkness, uncomfortable feelings, healing, and being patient with ourselves and the process.

I want to bring these coaching skills I am learning not only to my clients, but also to my relationships, softening how I relate, looking at how I love, how I serve and extending support. How am I present in all the areas of myself outside coaching clients? What is my heart asking me to ponder in order to live a life of more heart and leave a legacy of love beyond my time here? These are the questions arising in me. What questions are arising in you?

I want to share an email I received from a meditation teacher that I found profound about this time. They are from Marianne Williamson, a spiritual thought leader and author of many books and one of my favorites, A Return to Love.

Reminders from Marianne Williamson:
“The world will never be the same. (from her friend) It’s as if Divine Mother said ‘Go to your room and think about what you have done.’

Life begins again when you consider the possibility there might be a better way.

We can change the social contract … giving ourselves permission to be brothers and sisters to each other.

We must evolve from it’s all about me to it’s all about we. Not what can I get, to what can I create with others. All of us doing what we can.

The only thing that matters is that we are here for each other.

The only thing that matters is that we love each other.

We are in our rooms, so let’s think about it. We’re going to get through this, but it is tough. The darkness happens. The Light returns. How long it takes is up to us.

What we are being asked to do is think about it.

If we want a different world, we are going to have to be different people. We can do that.

It means we will have to be strong where we have been weak. Clear and responsible where we have been reckless.
It means we are going to have to have peace within for ourselves to have the nervous systems to contain the new energies that are coming in.
It means we are going to have to be mature rather than immature.
It means we are going to have to live for something bigger than ourselves.
It means we are going to have to collaborate and care for each other.
I think we are not only capable of that, I think deep in our hearts we are yearning for that.

Pain, regret, remorse coming up in our own lives, and how we have lived as a species. ‘Do not squander the hour of your pain.'(Rilke) If you are thinking of these things, you are not squandering this time.”

The heart is 10x more powerful than the head, according the HeartMath. Here they talk about how to have an alignment between heart and head to connect with your deeper intuition and create more clarity.

We have been conditioned to put the focus outside of ourselves and let our head lead us, but what we need is a balance of head and heart. This is an opportunity to observe inside you what that means for each of us individually. Then we will create a world focused on heart and taking the steps necessary to do what supports that way of living.

This is not a time of doing; it is about changing how we choose to be with ourselves, others, and in our life and work. Give yourself permission to pause, to listen, and to ponder – this is what is being asked of all of us.

May you rest in the solitude of this moment with curious eyes and an open heart.