Steps for Learning How to Really Listen

In a world where we are impacted by so many distractions and deadlines everyday, it can be hard to put your focus on slowing down and make a commitment to only listen without multitasking. Listening builds your emotional IQ, and it is not only a big part of what builds a powerful presence, but it is also what creates a good communicator.

Celeste Headlee talks about 10 ways to have a better conversation just by listening in the Ted talk below.

She states that a conversation is a balance between talking and listening where both parties feel engaged and inspired.

Celeste has 10 basic rules to follow:

• Don’t Multitask: Be in the moment; don’t be half in the conversation and half out of the conversation; don’t be thinking about something else.
• Don’t Pontificate: Do that in another venue.
• Assume you have something to learn: Everyone is an expert in something.
• Start your questions with who, what, when, where or how.
• Go with the Flow: Let the thoughts come in and out of your mind; don’t listen to them as these thoughts stop you from listening.
• If you don’t know, say you don’t know.
• Don’t equate your experience with theirs: All experiences are individual; it is not about you, conversations are not a promotional opportunity.
• Try not to repeat yourself: It is condescending.
• Stay out of the weeds: People don’t care about the details, they care about you and what you are like.
• LISTEN: This is the #1 skill you can develop. No one ever listens their way out of a job. If you’re not paying attention to someone, you are not in a conversation. Listen with the intent to understand.
• Be Brief.

Keep your mouth closed, keep your mind open and be prepared to be amazed. Listening is a practice in itself and an opportunity to strengthen more of how you bring your presence into how you lead your life, your team and your work.

Be Quiet,
Katie