May Newsletter 2016
3 Steps to Conscious Comparison

I was speaking with a client the other day, and it occurred to me that most of us allow our competitive spirit to be manipulated by our negative mind.  For example, how many times do you compare yourself to others?  Comparing your career, your house, your kids, how much money you make, etc.  When we allow our minds to focus on being competitive by comparing things that are outside of you, you are allowing your negative mind to take root and direct the show.  When this happens, you not only feel not good enough but also beat yourselves up over the decisions you have made and completely deny your own inner knowing and inner compass.  How crazy is that?  What if you took that competitive energy and started competing with yourself and your ability to trust what is true for you?

When you notice you are comparing yourselves to someone or something outside of you, look at this as an opportunity to redirect your thinking to put attention on what your gut is guiding you to do, or what that small voice inside of you is trying to tell you.  Every time you feel envy or not good enough based on another person or something outside yourself is an opportunity to realize your trust in yourself is calling you, and by listening to this, you strengthen that voice.  That voice needs self-acknowledgment.  Acknowledging when you have trusted your gut or intuition and the gifts you have received from the decisions you have made is what builds this small voice into a voice that directs your life.  Looking outside of yourself and comparing yourself to others diffuses your trust in yourself and your own path, process and inner knowing.

By being more aware of when you go into negatively using comparison instead of taking the opportunity to use it as tool to strengthen your own emotional intelligence supports you in living a more congruent life.

This week I want to invite you in taking actual steps that will shift your thinking and your behavior to one that serves your growth instead of sabotaging your potential.

Step 1
NOTICE –  When you move into competitive comparison, begin noticing when it happens.
Is it around certain people?
When you visit certain places?
Read certain material? 
What are your trigger points for going into the negative aspect of comparison?

Step 2
LOVE IT – Once you notice the negative comparison, ask yourself how you can love it!  When I feel envy or start feeling bad because I am comparing myself against someone else, I ask myself, “Is that something I really want?”  If it is, I look at what steps I am taking to bring that into my life. Then I make the commitment to take one small action that supports that desire.  If you are competitively comparing, there may be a hidden desire that wants to be recognized, so listen to what your intuition is telling you.  If it is not something I want, I acknowledge that this is a moment that is showing me that I can be happy for someone who is creating what they want.  I can build my empathy muscle and share in their joy. 

Step 3
CELEBRATE – Acknowledge that the comparison is showing up to teach you more about yourself and your own desires and needs.  Celebrate that acknowledgement by singing a song, doing a dance, buying someone coffee in line behind you or leaving an extra big tip.  Know you are strengthening your own empathy of yourself and using the gift that is present in the comparison.

I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas on what works for you, and other ideas about how to work with competitive comparison in your work and your lives.

Be Well,
Katie B.
www.katiebsmith.com