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Relaxed or Desperate: Which Describes You?

Relaxed or Desperate: Which Describes You?

When we think of job searching, we tend to think about things we should be doing. I would like to direct your attention inside and begin to observe how you are BEING in your life. Granted, there are always things we need to DO to create our next position, but the way we are feeling and being also plays a large role in our success.

Consider this – when we are in desperation mode we are operating from a place of fear. Our decisions, the thoughts we think and the energy we convey can feel negative and restrictive. But when we are relaxed we allow ourselves to go with the flow, have fun and trust ourselves and our decisions. Desperation breeds fear and stress, which stop the natural flow of opportunity. Fun and relaxation breed confidence, ease and allowing.

So what are you doing to relax and have fun? Are you allowing yourself breaks from the job search? I know budgets are tight for many job-seekers, but it doesn’t have to cost money to relax. For some, it is taking an occasional nap or a hot bath at the end of the day. For others, getting regular exercise like a hike or bike ride can shift the thoughts in a more positive direction, even after just 10 minutes of doing the activity. This time of job-creation is the perfect time to do some reflecting on what strategies you can incorporate to relax and take YOU time. The more you learn to take care of yourself in this way while acknowledging your work, the easier it will be to maintain a positive frame of mind. And people and employers like positive vibes.

Give yourself permission to take breaks in the middle of the day to breathe, walk, laugh, etc. When you create regular patterns of self-care in this way, you think more clearly, work more effectively and feel happier. That all adds up to being more relaxed and letting the ideas and opportunities flow. I find when I take breaks in the middle of my day I feel better and work much more effectively. I invite you to share what you do to relax and what simple techniques help you shift your mental state.

Remember, you are more than your job and your job search. Pay attention to your feelings and you will begin to enjoy the journey!

Happy Relaxing,



  1. Susie

    Good reminders to allow myself to take naps…I do take breaks – often just going outside and letting the sun beam down on my being for 5 minutes helps revitalize me.
    I also find when i embrace my daily chores (such as cat liter, dishes, making the bed, etc ) as meditative rather than obligatory, they become more of a ritual and I feel more in service to the greater cause.

    thanks for your inspiring words.

    • Wendy

      This is a great idea! I will have to see if this helps change my attitude towards cleaning dishes – my dishwasher as a source for ritual and meditation – brilliant!

  2. Debra

    Great blog post. Many times it’s so easy to tighten up throughout the day without even realizing it. Taking time to breathe and consciously relax always helps us think better.

  3. Wendy

    By the way, Katie, this blog is really great! I keep finding wonderful new ways to look at everyday things. Keep up the good work!

  4. Leav

    Katie I feel so privileged to know you. I get this sense of power and clarity when I am around you, and that your principles are grounded in a deep, calming spirituality.

    Keep up your sharing!


  5. Leslie

    Hi Katie,

    Thank you for the gentle reminder about taking breaks. During hectic work times when I’ve given into my fears and am acting from “stress puppy” mode, I find that I’m dissatisfied by the end of the day. Even if I’ve accomplished a lot, it feels empty.

    Taking little mid-day breaks bring me back to feeling human. And by the end of the day I feel more satisfied.

    Thanks again,

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