How to Lead Through the Lens of Love . . .
This month I am addressing four different criteria of leading through the lens of love: Presence, Listening, Acknowledgment and Curiosity. All of these words are ways of being that can shift defensive conversations and environments into ones that are solution-oriented and less stressful for all.
When we experience any uncomfortableness in our environment, it is an opportunity to get present with ourselves. We need to stop, listen to ourselves, acknowledge what we are experiencing and what we desire to experience, and then get curious with ourselves in how to begin to embody the presence of that experience.
I had a client last week (letâ€™s call him Joe) that was talking about how an interaction he had with a client did not go well. He said it was so hard trying to convince the client of a specific point he was trying to get across. The client was not listening and was stuck on what he wanted. It was a very stressful conversation that did not garner any results.
I reflected back to Joe that it sounds like they were both defending their positions, and he said yes they were. Anytime we go into defensiveness, we move our presence into operating out of fear. Fear creates stress, separation and non-productivity. I asked Joe how he could have moved the conservation into love where acknowledgment, curiosity, and listening live? He came to the conclusion that he could have:
- Listening to the client and being present; not multitasking or thinking how to respond’ just LISTENING.
- Acknowledged his clients concerns first by reflecting back what he was hearing, and how the client was feeling.
- Being Curious – he could ask questions in reference to specifics about the issue they were discussing.
This would open awareness and engage the client in a collaborative conversation where there is safety to express opinions, thoughts and a willingness to work together.
Joe walked away from our conversation having a clear vision of how he wants his future conversations to go with his clients and ways to improve how he can be more present with clients. He learned new strategies that work for him to remember how to BE this way with his clients, and he left our session knowing what he needed to practice in order to harness this new way of being.
All these elements Joe and I discussed are elements that involve strengthening emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify your own and other’s feelings so you can interpret and manage them effectively.
I hope this month’s blogs support you in moving into leading with more love instead of fear as this is the ultimate mindset we need to engage our employees, clients and businesses to create the results we desire. It works great with your kids too!
Lead with Love,